To speak, or not to speak...

Today has been a relatively good day.  I mean, having Diabetic Neuropathy can be a pain sometimes, because you can't judge when nerve pain will strike, but other than that, a good day. But I come to find out that some people can bring the best (or worst) out in you.  My biggest issue is my sadistic sense of  humor.  I am probably the most sarcastic person I know, and I tend to be much worse considering who my audience is.

The person who brings this trait to fruition most often is the sister closest to my age. She is 3 years younger, and she has the gift of gab, which means she out talks me.  I, other hand, am a thinker first, talker second, so by the time I process a thought, she's already talked over me, which can be very frustrating as you can imagine. 

So since she out talks me, I have premeditated sarcasm stored for her in the event she pisses me off!! Now, as I've stated in my previous blog, I'm trying to turn over a new leaf and learn self-control.  But it's not easy, since I've spent the last 10+ years storing sarcasm! 

In order to stop myself from going into the same old routine, I try not to speak when I feel the urge to blurt something sarcastic and unnecessary.  Someone told me that the circumstances are not the things that change, but your outlook and attitude.  How true is that, anyway?  Will my transformation change the response of the second person?  What if  they don't realize what you're trying to accomplish?  I'm not trying to be the bigger person, I'm trying to be a better me...

Although communicating my goals should be my objective, I feel that if I slip up then it could be held against me, and I might retaliate... kind of like the way a person goes "gong-ho" on a diet, but they slip up on Thanksgiving, and they have a relapse, and their eating habits are worse than what they were before.

I know, I know: think positive!!  Instead of expecting the worst, I myself will open the lines of communication.

First way: writing a blog!!! lol

~Syx~