Taking the High Road...

I know on Twitter and Myspace I promised a new blog, but I got lazy!!! lol Sorry.

I have a question:
2 sets of friends, 2 different events, 1 night... how do you choose what you're going to do?

Now if they're both happening at different times during the day that's fine, but what if they're happening simultaneously? Do you try to split the time in half, or just commit yourself to one event and take a raincheck on the other? Let's throw a monkeywrench in there: what if you have someone attending the first event with you, and their intention is to stay until the end?

"They can find their own way back" is what most of your are probably thinking, but I have another approach to that thought: the driver should communicate their intentions to the rider so that the other person can make the appropriate adjustments, such as finding another ride.

This happened to me today, but the driver informed me of their plans up front. I was fine with the arrangements we made together, but what I didn't calculate into my plans was what if I wanted to stay longer??

And that's what happened.

The driver was ready to go at the time specified in our earlier conversation, and I wasn't. We were visiting at a friend's house, who lived no more than 3 minutes away (driving distance). Normally, I would've just opted to walk home, but since it's dark out, and my feet was hurting, I didn't chance it.

I kinda got a little irritated because I realized that this was going to be my life's story until I got my own set of wheels. It's really hard to depend on someone when you're used to just getting up and going when you get ready.

It's also very humbling... which is something else I need to work on.

It's hard for me to accept things that I would normally get/do for myself from others, but it's even harder to me to accept them from my family!!!

Most people's perspective on family is that you can always count on them. But mine is more "I'd rather not count on the ones whose always giving me grief!" Family tend to criticize more and are less accepting.

People who don't know you well can adapt to your changes better than the people who have known you all your life. They have you moulded into their heads a certain way, and to them, you're not supposed to deviate.

When you do, it causes conflict.

Talking about my issues with family can take a blog or two!! lol

Getting back to the topic, this is how it was resolved:

We left, and I didn't make a fuss, because that is what we agreed to. However, I know now, that I will explore all options, and take matters into my own hands. From now on, I will make sure that when it comes to going places with another person, I have more than one way to get back home... that way we can all do what we want to do with our time, and not feel pressured to stay for the rider, or the rider feeling "rushed" because the driver is ready to go.

Think fast, kid...

I don't want to use my blog to bash anyone, but it seems like my only inspiration to write is the people who brings the worst out of me...

To have someone in your life that can be caring, loving, and sympathetic is a good thing. They can wind up being your confidant, but on the flip side they can also be the one who gets under your skin in the worst of ways.

Fast-talking, pseudo-analytical, and contradictory.

Yep.

But this year is a year for change, not for them, but for me. Change doesn't happen overnight. The very ones that can criticize you for your "lack" of change when you get in conflict with them, are the very stumbling-blocks that can stop the change from happening.


What to do when you're in an argument with a fast-talker:

1. listen
2. speak softly
3. apologize
4. repeat.

I messed up when I got to 4. I didn't repeat and that caused me to lose my cool. I started shouting, using phrases like "always and never", I started criticizing, and began hinting of things that I knew of them that could bring them down. Those are my "soft defense" mechanisms, and were used because they were used against me.

The problem about that is that I can't stand people like that. I hate when you try to bring up the past and use it against me. When you use your own logic to try to prove a point; although it isn't logical to anyone else but you.

I do all of those things, and that is the part of myself I want to get rid of.

I refuse to let someone make me angry which-in turn-makes me physically ill (psoriasis flare-up, high glucose reading).

It isn't worth it. After the situation was over, I laughed, and then blogged.

Now that it's out of my mind and onto the screen, I can move forward, and not hold a grudge or be bitter. This situation only makes my goals in life more clear, and more urgent.

As my Princess told me today; it's time to start taking care of yourself!

Case Closed. :-)