Anywhere But Here...

You won't even believe this crazy story I have for you today...
I just wish that it was crazy in a good way, instead of... well just tell me your thoughts:


Lately I've been feeling lonely. I get bored easily with the mundane, and without me working or going to school, there's just not enough for me to do to fill the time that I don't use sleeping.

I don't like a lot of company, but when I want it, I want it.
I asked a friend of mine to come over Monday so we can work on some music together. But before he came over, I wanted to confirm with my mother that it was ok to have company.

She said that she really didn't want me to have company, and that I was having a lot of people come through the house lately. That was a complete fallacy because the only person I had over there came over on a Saturday, and the 2 times before that, I went to their house!

Anyway, I didn't see the big deal for two reasons:
1. She always makes statements about me walking alot on my feet, and how she "disapproves".
2.She sleeps during the daytime because she works at night!

In case inquiring minds were wondering, The music we were going to work on is electronic; there would be no noise because it's all coming through headphones!

I didn't feel like arguing, and at the time I wasn't really upset, so I decided that I was just going to cancel, and hang out over another friend's house.

Meanwhile, my sisters both stay home from school Monday, and they wanted to watch movies and lounge around the house.

I said "OK" but I still was going to go through with my plans with my other friends afterward.

The middle sister wanted me to stay and cancel on them, but I told her that I didn't want to do that because i wanted to get out of the house!

So basically she cops an attitude, and after she returns home, the movies we were going to watch were still on the counter; untouched.

So I didn't know what her plans were... was she going to still watch them? was she angry, so she was going to watch them later? So I didn't ask questions because after the attitude I basically didn't care.

She comes to my room a little while later, and asks was I still going to watch the movies? I said yes, and that she just needed to tell me when she was ready...

From there we argued about whether or not I should have known to immediately go into the living room to watch the movie!

Of course since we were both irritated I declined watching the movies, and just left for my friend's house earlier than planned.

I stayed there all afternoon and evening, and then they walked me back home around midnight.

No calls from anyone asking where i was, or anything. (Not that I cared)

My friends and I decided to get up super early to take care of business at the Social Services Department. Now I'm up at the crack of dawn on my mother's bike to get my life situated. As I was pedaling, one of the pedals came off the bike, and needed a nut to keep it in place! Imagine how frustrating it is to try to steer your bike with only one pedal!



I was closer to my friend's house than mine, so I went there because I knew that they had the tools I needed. Anyway because of unforeseen circumstances we didn't make it today.

So here's where the story changes.

My friend's mom receives a text from my aunt asking if I was there and that my family was "concerned" about me! Ha! (Remember, I didn't receive ANY calls from anyone in my family within the last 20 or so hours!


Come to find out through my family's superior gossip network line that I was thought to have never came home last night because they didn't see me when they went to bed or when they woke up!

Now I BLATANTLY left clues to mark my return home... For example:

1. My room was spotless when I left; I left my pjs on my bed and dirty socks on the floor.

2. There was a Diabetic Supplement drink in the fridge, so I drank it, and left the container on the clean counters (I'm the only diabetic in the house).

3. I took my mother's bike out of the garage.

And the most important clue of all:

4. I opened the side door for the dogs, cleaned up their poop, fed them and gave them water!


Now why didn't they figure out that I was there? There was no one else there but my sisters, and they know THEY didn't do that stuff... so who did????


I swear they don't think! Even "Blue's Clues" teach you to pay attention to your surroundings! lol

All-in-all it has been a very frustrating day for me! Unnecessary drama and assumptions because of lack of communication! Yeah, it was my fault too, but I'm not going to give out info just because... If you don't ask, I won't tell.


I'm officially too through, and need to get out of this binding situation fast...
I am closely approaching insanity, and need to fix this jumbled mess of a life and make a clear path for me, and me alone.

I'm tired of people interfering with my happiness. I deal with a lot of bull on a regular basis; I all want to achieve is independence and happiness... Is that too much to ask?

5 months later...

Wow! It has been a long while since I've posted a blog!


So... what's new, you ask?
Well... not much.

New foot injuries, but same set of issues, living arrangements, and people.
And even more upsetting: same old me.


Not good to be stagnant when I said I wanted to change. I need to prepare myself for change mentally before it can physically take place.


Ok, enough with the negative self-review.


I just want to talk about sensitivity levels. I am a very sensitive person. But thinkers usually are. We have a chance to delve into our inner psyche and question our very thought processes and the the thoughts of others.

Now I'm a person who has a lot of medical stuff going on with them. Diabetes is the forerunner in all of my issues and truthfully my lack of control over this disease is the root of all my other problems.

I've been diabetic for 15 years now. January 24th is my "anniversary". This disease has taught me so many things, as well as taken some things away from me. But needless to say, this is a subject I know very well.

A little earlier this evening a statement was made in my presence about a fellow diabetic and their lack of enthusiasm when it comes to taking their meds the way they are supposed to in order to live a comfortable life. The person stated that the diabetic wanted to die.

She meant it as a fact due to the diabetic's carelessness to their health. But I know better. I have oftentimes found myself in the situation where taking my meds the way I'm supposed to can be tedious... to say the least.

And for me, there were very few times in those moments where I wished for death, or even thought about it, for that matter. So to make a statement like that was (in my eyes) ignorant.

Being sick all the time is not easy. Being diabetic everyday takes a strong-willed and disciplined individual. It's a mindset, and not a mindset that is easy for everyone to attain.

For one person it's just as easy as breathing, for another, just as hard holding your breath under water. So to make a statement like that without even knowing the individual, no matter what the intent was...

just wasn't using your head.

See this person can sympathize with a diabetic, having lived with one most of her life, but I can EMPATHIZE; having BEEN one most of my life. And I know, for me, diabetes has always been a struggle and a hardship. Yeah, I caused a lot of that crap on myself, but I know better than to make a statement like that about ANY sickness.


I just had to say that. Be aware of your surroundings; of the things you say. You never know how insensitive you could sound to a person living the life you make judgments about.