So Ambitious...

Ambition. Success. What do you use to measure those attributes?

The definition of ambition is a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work.  Desire and determination to achieve success.

I realize that I'm not ambitious because I lack drive and motivation. It sucks really, because I have a lot of ideas, and I'm not making moves to achieve them.

For example,  I've been sitting on this t-shirt idea for the last 4 years, and I still haven't produced one; even as a prototype.

I don't know why I lack drive. It seems like the last 3 years, I've been so focused on what's around me, that I haven't really taken the time to do anything with my life. It takes so much effort for me to do even the simplest of tasks.

Joe is always telling me to at least try at something. I honestly haven't been trying, but all that changes today.

To start off my day, I walked to the park this morning and exercised on the public equipment for 30 minutes! When I got home I took a nap...

Yeah, there was promise when I started, but it ended in a nap! lol

I would love to know what motivates others to do the exceptional...

Tomorrow I will go back to the park and exercise again. I want to keep at it until it becomes a routine, then I want to add other things to my day; like a music project, or cleaning up some of the video projects I have been sitting on for awhile.

I want to continue to enrich my life, to keep it from being so mundane... I just have trouble starting.

Well, that's all I have for you today...

Until next time.
 ~Syx

Dear Jillian
Joe told me he had a dream about having twins. I don't know if twins run on my side of the family, but it does on his. One of the projects I want to perfect is the song I did for you... it's just that it's so hard to bring myself to sing it again. I haven't touched my keyboard, and not singing the way I want to is starting to drive me crazy. Music is apart of me, and I'm missing out on being myself again. Moving forward is so much harder than I could have imagined, but I know I have to. I'm wondering what kind of toll this is taking on Joe as much as myself.  You would have been such an intricate part of our lives, and we would have loved and cherished every minute with you.  You would have been perfect.

-Mommy